Ugh.. Life!

So these days haven't been the easiest! I have been going months without a car, finally I get one and of course it runs like CRAP!! It gets me to work and home, and a few other places..I'm grateful!!

I landed a great job in July, couldn't be happier. And to think I would end up in the dentistry field..who woulda thunk?! :) Of course with the good comes bad, which is where I add in that Ricky was laid off from his job around the same time! So of course after 4 years of being a stay at home mom I get a great job with decent pay..and he loses his job of excellent pay. Why can't we ever just break even? I'm not even asking to get ahead for gracious sake!!

The one job leads me into Christmas for 2012. Of course we always ALWAYS want to give Xavier everything he ever needs and could ever want. One income doesn't leave much room for the needs, let alone the wants. I have a total of 2 presents in my trunk for him and Christmas is exactly ONE week away!!! I know gifts don't make Christmas, but come on he is five years old and deserves the world. I love this kid more than anyone could ever love anything & Ricky feels the same for him, but we just want to give him everything we can. I guess with that said.. we are giving him everything we can at this point. I just wish we could wake up Christmas morning and have a priceless face to look at, WAIT!!!    WE DOO!!!!

Next on my list to vent about... my weight!! I was always the skinny cheerleader. The 'hot' one that girls never always hated. Then, I met this guy who I now call my hubby..& I gained around 12 lbs..big deal right?! Not so much until my mom made me take the dreaded trip to the GYNO to get checked, which led to birth control. Of course, I chose the depo bc I couldn't forget about taking it and I would have no cycle.. yay! NOT :(  I took one shot, bled for a year straight & ... drumroll please= gained 85 lbs!!!  Holy hell was I upset.. but I lost most of the weight and automatically became pregnant with our now 5 yr old little devil LOL. So I gained some weight & lost more than all of it after having him. Then somehow I gained it back..and then some. I have always just ignored my weight issues..of course I complained about being fat and looking nasty. Ricky always said I looked beautiful, but if I wasn't happy then do something about it. Well I thought to myself, " if he can stand to look at me naked I'm happy"  WRONG!!  So here I am at 216 lbs... UNHAPPY and now ready to be skinny, sexy and one hot mama. WISH ME LUCK!!!

Until next time... <3

I haven't done this in FOREVER!!

It has been so long since I last posted a blog. I just felt as though I didn't really have the time to sit and write about things that already occured in my life. Recently, I have a had an urge to start a journal and thought "why not just start my blog back up?" so here I am. Lets see if I can keep up with it this time. Maybe I can even get alittle better at capturing moments with my camera, although, all I do is work so I'm rarely anywhere but there.

So much has happened this year, but I will write about a few things that have touched me and helped to make me be the new person I am today!






My husband & I have now suffered through our 6 baby being lost. We have finally come to the conclusion that we are meant to have our family of 3. Xavier was sent to us to be our one and only baby. I always NEVER thought I would be able to say I was okay with having no more babies, but at this point I would rather live to see Xavier grow and have his own family! I can't continue to chance leaving this world behind because I was selfish. I know that I will always look at pregnant women and wonder why I can't have that...I will always see newborn babies and smile with a tear forming in my eye. At the end of the day, I just want what is best for my son and my husband, that is me being here.

We recently lost a great friend of ours just this past week. We had become alittle distant over the past fews years. He did his own thing and of course we did the family thing. Wayne had recently reached out to both Ricky & I for advise and help. Of course we were both there for him in our own ways to help him, talk to him and of course just to listen to him. He was a deeply hurt person who just wanted to do best for his son. Unfortunately, no matter what you said to him, he never felt better about himself. I received a text from Ricky that he had taken his life and I felt as if I couldn't breathe. This man always seemed so happy, always had a smile on his face. Just goes to show that looks are deceiving!! There is not a day that goes by I don't think about him, miss him and picture his face. R.I.P my Red Lobster.. your Tasty Kakes will miss you!!



Miranda Lambert Concert

I know, I know..I'm late, but I did just get this blog so give me some slack : )

So one of my all-time favorite singers is Miranda Lambert & it just so happens that an AWESOME friend (Jenn Rife) got us horrible AmAzInG seats..front row right in front of the stage actually! This was the first concert I had ever attended and it is one I will never forget. I felt like I was going to pass out when they turned the lights on & started the fog..I think I kinda startled Jenn OopS!!  

Miranda is amazing to watch on stage, she doesn't sit still for 2 seconds & she is just so into her music & her fans!  She took second long breaks & jumped and danced around the stage the whole show. These are just 2 of the many pictures I got of her, but they are my favorite so I thought I would share...

 

Her 2 opening acts were Josh Kelley and Josh Thompson who were also awesome. I ended up with a guitar pick and a red solo cup that were Josh Thompsons..haha. Actually, I still have that cup in my car : )  Then there was the 'Pistol Annies'..I cannot wait for their album to come out. I never buy CDs, but this will be the exception...they were outstanding & everything they played was incredible!

                               Josh Kelley                                                       Pistol Annies

      

          Josh Thompson w/ his RED solo cup : )                                     

 

It's still cRaZy for me to hear any of the songs played at the concert because I can actually imagine myself standing right there in front of them! I mean, really, Miranda Lambert touched and held onto my hand a few times!!!  OH, and we got gate crasher tickets as well so we got to go in before the gates opened for cheaper, note I didn't say cheap lol.. and games, just got to do things before everyone else so that was neat!  Jenn definately gave me a birthday gift I will NEVER forget, but then again what more could you expect from such a great person who has left an everlasting impression in your heart! I love you J-Dawg & thanks so much again!!

                                         These would be our beers ON Mirandas stage!!

Oh so new to this!

So I have never done any type of blogging before, but I figured why not give it a try! I only know of blogging because of a friend, Heather, whose blog I read everyday. I love how even though we haven't really talked lately I can still see her kids growing & hear all the great stuff going on in their lives. My next step for this whole blogging ordeal is to actually get internet at our house..I've been slacking big time on that! I also need to start taking pictures again..I just get so wrapped up in what's going on my camera completely slips my mind. Another hobby Heather has that I envy her for..NEVER missing a great picture opportunity!

This month has been so crazy! Ricky started a new job which he has to work every weekend so we barely see eachother unless one of wakes up to pee and the other is sleeping! I can't wait for this contract they have to be up so I can see my hubby again (7 more weeks)!! Xavier is getting so big, everyday he says something that jut makes me wonder where my little boy went. The other day he asked me if I wanted to go into outer space with him and his girlfriend! His girlfriend, by the way, is a great friend of mine Patti, but she is 23.. WAY too old for him! As far as "me" is concerned..I'm just trying to be the best mommy & wife I can be. Not seeing Ricky like I'd hope is starting to get to me, but I'm trying to hold it together :)  I'm trying a new way of getting things through to Zavy..pray that this works for me ! He doesn't think he needs to listen to what I say; if it doesn't come out of Daddys mouth it's not right. I will get that straightened out soon enough! Then, there is what I call 'work'..oh joy, joy, joy :) It wouldn't even be so bad if I got home before 7:30, but I don't! I love the people I work with & the boss is flexible with mostly everything, including Zavy so I can't really complain..just love HATE the hours!  I really don't have much to complain about in my life..oh wait my car! I got this car from a friend, and they had no issues with the car at all..just my luck that we bought it & now the thing is falling apart! I just want a new car.. other than that life is perfect!

My amazing little family !